After a While

By Veronica A. Shoffstall
written at age 19

After a while you learn the subtle difference between

holding a hand and chaining a soul,

And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning and

company doesn't mean security,

And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts

and presents aren't promises,

And you begin to accept your defeats with your head

up and your eyes open, with the grace of an adult,

not the grief of a child,

And you learn to build all your roads on today

because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for

plans.

After a while you learn that even sunshine burns if

you get too much.

So plant your own garden and decorate your own

soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you

flowers.

And you learn that you really can endure . . .

that you really are strong,

and you really do have worth.

And you learn and you learn . . .

with every good-bye you learn. . . .

Somebody asked me lately, "Ano ang type mo sa lalaki?"

And I said sarcastically, "Bakit gusto mong malaman?"

But that peron didn't replied back, so I thought it's just his common reaction. However, I find it queer on the way he asked me the question, it's like he's trying to know more about how I choose the right person whom I wished to admire. But why does he want know it?

Then I remembered a line that I had read on one e-mail which goes a bit like this...

"... For Guys, ask out in advance what you're counter-part wants, so that you'll have an idea on what to give her..."

But I can't justify this line to his intent on why he asked me that? It's still vague for me, I mean, I'm clueless, nonetheless if he really wants to know about what's my type in a guy, then he should just pass and abide to my standards. So here are the criterions:

I. Physical appearance (20%)

1. face value (5%)
2. Complexion (5%)
3. over-all physique (5%)
4. eyes (5%)

II. Intelligence (20%)

1. reasoning capability and other related factors (10%)
2. humor and other related factors (10%)

III. Attitude (60%)
which includes:

1. first impression
2. my own perception to him, whether he's cocky, cocksure, timid or shy
3. the perception of others
4. rumors about him

So over all 100%, and the passing rate for me is 80%. So know I guess you'll all have a clear idea on how I select the right guy to admire. My standards are high right?

"The long week has finally concluded but its aftershock is still ongoing."

What does this line mean? Simple, the results of the exams are just up ahead to torture everyone of us again. We had managed to survived the one-half of the catastropy this prelims had brought us, but we still are not assured whether we are all going to pass or fail those exams. Just lately this morning, one of the most feared subject (BIOCHEM) had released its aftershock, giving us all a hard time to breathe, thinking hard if we would pass it or not, and asking and praying to all the saints to help and spare us. For some few gifted people, of course they're too confident that their going to pass, but what about us.... the average type, kulang na lang maglupasay...Then the moment arrived, the results were given... few were too lucky to pass but the rest all in dispair, kasi kulang ng one point para pumasa. Then, yung inaakala mong iyon na, tapos na, di pa natapos nagsermon pa siya, bumagsak or almost bumagsak ka na nga nagsermon pa, hindi na naawa, nagdagdag torture pa!

Eto pa, matapos yung biochem, si EXPERMENTAL LEC, lugmuk na lugmuk ka na sa iyong katayuan dahil nga sa Biochem, ito nagdagdag pa siya ng pasakit. Imbes na sabihin na lang yung tamang sagot, daldal pa ng daldal sa harap, iniisa-isa ung questions, duh! Ano ba siya martyr, or just plain STUPID. Then, when she finally realized that no body's listening nagtanong pa kung bakit walang nakikinig. Isn't it that as a PSYCHOLOGIST you should be sensitive to the needs of others, why can't she see that her students were already annoyed with her!

Sorry, I just really want to have an outlet sa bwisit kong ito!

Scared

Sometimes I got scared

knowing that someday you'll be gone

but I tried to conceal it inside,

cause I'm so ashamed to reveal it...

Sometimes I looked toward the sky

gazing intently, somehow thinking

your face would peeped out...

I looked so woebegone now,

cause I knew in any minute

you'll be out of my life.

I'm so scared... yet I'm so down to you

I'm wondering whether I could hear

your mellifluous voice again,

just for this last time,

even for this last, very moment.

However, circumstances might change,

and I'm afraid it would,

and my dreaded thoughts

would somehow turn into reality...

Sentiment of the Heart

Those days seemed endless...

the moments seemed forever...

yet anguish came to take you away from my arms.

You became elusive, and I easily succumbed

to the pain.

Tears rushed like rain, unable to determine

when its time to subside.

I wanted to cling on,

but everything's pulling me apart.

I wished I could return back

the hands of time, to experience again

the joy of being in your arms again.

Yet that moment had passed away

and the only thing that I could say to

myself is I missed you!

Notice

His misty brown eyes reflected everything

from my heart's desires and fears...

I felt like its a mirror of my whole dreams...

dreams that someday I could gain...

Yet that mirror doesn't belong to me...

but with someone else.

Oh, that lucky maiden!

How I wished it was me?

How I wished it was me... whom you're caressing?

How I wished it was me... near to you,

to fulfill those dreams reflected by your brown eyes...

But I belonged to someone else now...

and what's painful was that....

those dreams would never turn into reality...

for the moment allotted for me...

swiftly passed away,

without even a notice.