Saturday, January 29, 2005

saloobin + exposure trip...

What I pressumed to happen about the contest didn't eventually came to reality... darn... It wasn't him who won but another guy from biology... Leo. Anyway he may be good... only in modelling, why? Since, when I asked someone to relate to me the event, she said she there wasn't anything regarding question and answer, nor in talent portion, whatever, only damn modelling of such a clothes whether casual or formal wear. What ever really happened, I don't know. More so, if it was their only criteria for judging then maybe Mr. and Ms. Science Personality winners weren't really intended to be sent to the inter-collegiate competition. So I guess it's just it, nothing more to add nor include...


***


Bakit may taong mahirap pakisamahan... inilalapit mo na yung sarili mo ngunit talagang hindi pa rin marunong makisama? Meron namang iba na marunong makisama dahil lang sa may kailangan ngunit pagkatapos noon wala na... puro pakikipagplastikan na lang. Meron din naman na iba na akala mo mapagkakatiwalaan pero nasa loob ang kulo, mahilig mangipit at magtago ng nalalaman... Wala na ba kaming karapatan na malaman ang mga impormasyong iyon? Kayu-kayo na lang ba palagi? Sa inyo na lang ba dapat ang lahat? Hindi ba iniluklok kayo diyan ng nakararami para ipamahagi ang inyong nalalaman? O hindi kaya kayo talaga yung nakararami, halintulad sa kongreso na puro na lang mayora wala nang minorya? Wala ba kayong balak imulat ang inyong mga mata upang makita ang mga bagay-bagay, at ibukas ang mga tenga at makinig sa mga mumunting tinig na nagsusumamo upang pakinggan sila? Sadya ba talagang hindi patas ang lahat?



Kung babalikan natin ang mungkahi ng mga sayantipiko upang mamuhay ng matiwasay sa mundo sinasaad nila at iginigiit ang Mutual Relationships na halaw sa mga aklat ng Biology, na nagsasabi na "there should be a give and take relationship between parties so as to live freely and productively in an ecosystem that has minimal resources". Sinasabi rin nila na okay lang ang Competition sa bawat grupo at itinatakwil nila ang idea ng Parasitism na sinasaad na "in these kind of relationship there is only one benefiting from the minimal resources the ecosystem had, and these resources were first consumed by the other party in which the nutrients that party should be benefiting was taken away by the other, causing an imbalance between the homeostatic imbalance between the two."



Kung ang sinasabi nila ay ihahalintulad sa sitwasyong ito, lumalabas lang na wala sa Mutual Relationship ang nangyayari, at wala rin sa Parasitism, dahil hindi kami ang may hawak ng impormasyong base sa Ecosystem kung hindi kayo. Kung nasa amin kaya ang mga ito at gawin din namin sa inyo ang kahayupang ginagawa ninyo masisiyahan ba kayo, magngingitngit din ba kayo sa galit? Hindi ba oo, magagalit kayo. Kung kami kaya ang gumagawa nito sa inyo at hindi ipagbigay alam ang lahat sa inyo ano kaya ang mararamdaman ninyo? Sana naman hindi kayo manhid sa mga ito... hindi na ito maliit na bagay na nakakaligtaan lang, isang malaking bagay ito dahil paulit-ulit ang lahat ng nangyayari... paulit-ulit... nakakapeste na talaga...


***


Today was my first exposure trip to the "world of the damned" as few may call. A presummed world that resulted to the deviation of those people to the societal norms. Anyway, in lay man's term a mental institution, an assylum for those few who chose to be different from the rest.



The idea of going and being exposed to them was scary. I'm prognosticating and even guessing what kind of place it really was inside, since the institution was really familiar. I've already seen it from a far... particularly at the back of our high school building. It was really our past time before, observing the few people running there in the grounds with seperate things in mind, having an own world. But now, it really was a reality, no more observation from that far place... but in the real setting inside.



The preparation going there really wasn't nice... a Friday with no classes... then with a clang Saturday: exposure trip, an 8:30 call time in the lobby of the Main Building of UST, and again a too early rise from bed, with which I failed to do again. More so, me and my friends decided to be much early from that call time, we chose 8 am to meet in the usual place, but i'm late again... 8:40 I had arrived at the lobby only a few where there... no close friends, and still with the same feeling of nervousness.



The next event wan't even good, our class had been able to ride the bus passed an hour after the call time. Then, the thought that, we can pursue already struck us with a hype, the bus weren't allowed to move out of the campus. Nice, right? No, because the tensions just intensified. I also became a tour guide for the driver in the bus, since he didn't knew the place. I instucted the snobbish driver to move about, where to turn, if it was really there.



Then we where already there, a woman told few facts then we where allowed to enter. After which we jammed at the main entrance, a man let us recalled few of the abnormal topics we've covered from the DSM. And there whalla... we entered. A whopping culture shock! However, not the same as expected... people on bars, shouting nonsense. But only few people sitting, chatting, and laughing, as if they're really not abnormal, but normals misdiagnoised... confined by somebody else. It was really my first time to encounter a real schizophrenic - and wearing a yellow green shirt, grinning at me, following the other people not even speaking... harmless? She appeared to be as if she would stub you if only she had a knife. Then there where other people approachable, easily to be with, Lance, or should it be Lani. There were also other people easily noticeable, dashing in red, attached to other people.



There were games, dancing, and can't forget the prayers and food... then the exposure's over...


Tuesday, January 25, 2005

With All My Regrets...

The final league of the pageant for Mr. and Ms. Science Personality happened today. The thought of what happened there makes me really grumpy. Grr... why for all the time and schedule, it would happen today at 3:00 in the afternoon when all my thinking is projected to going home early. I badly wished to watch it, to see practically one of the contestants there, Robert. I never thought that he had the guts to join a competition like that since it wasn't really like his personality. Duh! I really hate myself for my decision making skills... if I guess I decided to stay, then I may be able to see him do his stunts if there is a talent portion or something; see him at his best when he answer the questions that would be asked; and to see him at his formal wear as compared to the usual uniform...



More so as we (pertaining to me and my friends) had discussed the competition for the male representative was really stiff, since the promoters who ever they were had chosen the best among the male population of the College of Science. I'll just name a few, Dennis, Leo and ROBERT from biology, and one of my classmates, Alan. In addition to this I presume who ever would win this competition would represent the said college to the inter-collegiate UST Personality. Huh, I missed the chance... and I'm really dismayed for such haphazard decisions I'd made. For those who had watched it, would you care to share what happened tomorrow at class and who ever won the competition? Please...



I HOPE ROB WON IT... FOR HE DESERVES IT!!!


And oh there's another thing I wished to impart... this is really quite annoying, sarcastic, and rude... And to those few who might encounter or read this, I may reprimand you already that it wasn't intended for you but with someone else who makes my blood boil every night. Well, I never really saw the reaction of this person, but if ever it happened, this is the only thing that I'm going to say to you. DON'T THINK THAT YOU ENDED VICTORIOUS OVER ME. YOUR ONE POINT ADVANTAGE HAS NO STATISTICAL BEARING. REMEMBER THAT I CAN EASILY GET MUCH HIGHER GRADES THAN YOU, IF I WISHED TO. MORE SO, BASED ON FACTS YOU ARE IN THE LOWER RUNG OF THE LADDER AND I'M ALMOST NEAR THE TOP, BESIDES TO REITERATE TO YOU, I'M MUCH MORE INTELLIGENT THAN YOU ARE... AND IF NOT FOR ME, I GUESS YOU FLUNKED FEW OF OUR SUBJECTS ESPECIALLY GEN. CHEM AND ORG. CHEM. SO SHAME OF YOU! JUST AS WHAT YOU'D DESCRIBED YOURSELF AS YOU'RE TYPING YOUR PASSWORD!



If you think that it was over... think again. I'm just waiting for the right time that what you hold against me would be returned back to me. Hence I already had it back... I may well release all this tensions...

Saturday, January 22, 2005

just plain nothing

Whew, hell week's over... as in over. Though the thought of it shivers me, I guess I can lick it... Anyway, ive been busy for the past days prior to the "Prelims" since I needed to finish some reports particularly the study in clinical psych, that's why it's been late for this post... besides i've been excessively worrying little things that come my way, been craming with it until i'd realized that i haven't done anything progressively and productively. I really hate to say this but huh, I'm tired... so damn tired of studying, besides i'm having this second thought of not continuing to med school, not because of financial reasons, but my motivation and eagerness to consider such laborious stuying. I've even been regretting taking up psych, not that i don't like it, but for other reasons. I really enjoy being in psychology and that i swear is true, but some annoyer just cut that enjoyment and enthusiam that i've been experiencing. I guess every body knew who that culprit was, and i guess some even disliked her, but there's nothing we really can do but just to keep this feeling... until march...So i guess i't just up to here, i'm still have other errands to face and attend to... and to say sarcastically quizzes to review with...