An Outlet... just for a while to be free...

A spontaneous decision that lead to a nice night... huh... i'm kindda itching to type and recount all the events. Anyway, Leah had started to tell her story, so I just need to add a little about it.

It started when I asked lou-anne: (The conversation I guess, it's details are no longer the exact one...)

me: "Lou, pupunta ba tayo mamaya?"

Lou: "Ikaw?"

me: "wala me libro eh!"

Lou: Biglang hablot ng mga libro ni trish and bigay sa amin...

Obviously, iyon na yung start, then a little bit of guessing game to ease our boredom... tapos may message na ipinasa sa amin, leah's message asking kung meron kaming extra book with us, "sorry wala na". After class, yun na, si leah naghahanap ng book, so sinamahan namin siya sa house ni Mary, tapos titignan din namin kung sasama si Mary pabalik ng uste, sa kasawiang palad di siya pinayagan. But it's really nice of her na papuntahin ulit kami sa house niya. Then, kami-kami na lang ang bumalik sa uste... after which, we stayed at the lobby of the main building waiting for no other than SD, Pai, Michael, Mabel, and Joel, pero unfortunately si SD lang ung dumating... late pa!

So iyon na yung mahabang kwento, pumila at tumayo ng higit isang oras bago papasukin sa grandstand. Since nasaharapan kami, kami ung parang nasa moshpit ung stage... hehe... nice place, kitang-kita, swak-na-swak, malapitan... syempre ang balak sana namin ay 8 umuwi, dahil nga 5 naman ung start, tapos ang paalam ko lang ay through text na gagabihin me ng uwi, without any reason kung bakit. And again waitiing game na naman... mga 7 na ung concert nagstart, nandoon ung bamboo, cambio?!, imago, sugarfree, fragile?!, chicosci, mymp, spongecola, southborder at kung sinu-sino pang mga banda.

Enjoy naman yung concert, lalo na nung nag-start ung bamboo... may technical error pa nga kay Ira, yung guitar niya hindi tumutunog, habang kumakanta yung vocalist... syempre ask ko si leah kung sino yung nakared, and leah did tell me all the necessary informations, cute kasi yung nakared... and syempre madami na yung nagwawala dahil nga sa kanya, meron yung sumigaw na "Ira, na babading ako sa iyo!" at "Mahal kita Ira!". After nun yung may iba-iba pang banda ang sumunod... ang peste nga lang kasi yung naturingan na graduate ng uste (fragile) yung kumanta, ang tagal, at ako pesteng-peste na, kasi nga gabi nang masyado, hindi pa ako kumakain, hindi ko pa alam kung ano yung sasabihin ng parents ko, at hindi ko pa nakikita si duncan ng southborder... sumisigaw na nga kami ni leah na "lumayas ka na dyan!" after nung last song, balak na sana naming umuwi, then, sabi ni leah na maganda daw ung next performer chicosci... so pinanuod namin... cute yung nakablack na si Mong, kaysa dun sa bumuga ng tubig na si Migs, Migui, or whatever his name is... Miguel naman siguro iyon. At ito naman yung mga superduper fanatics na sumigaw sa tengga ko...grabe kakabingi... and then inask ni leah na picturan yung guy, unfortunately inisnob kami yung marshall na nakasalamin... samantalang nung sa bamboo, pinayagan.

Then, after nung last song nila, mymp na... yehey... nakita na ni ren at lou yung inaantay nila... Then we decide to go home, kasi past 10 na ng gabi... then habang naglalakad na kami sa gitna ng crowd... nakikipag-siksikan, biglang sinabi ni leah, na "sandali lang spongecola na, bagalan ninyo!" pero yun nagstart na kami na umalis... at kami... umuwi ng masakit ang paa, dahil sa haba ng oras na itinayo namin... and mga 11:30 na me nakauwi ng bahay dahil we drop by 7-11...

Paguwi ko buti na lang hindi ako pinagalitan, tinanong lang kung ano yung pinuntahan ko... siguro alam na nila na nanuod me ng concert sa uste, kung kumain na ba ako, at kung bakit masyado ng late ako nakauwi, na ang usapan ay 9:30... All I can say is it's a nice outlet to release all the tension that's building up inside of me, and a nice way to enjoy life once in a while even though pag-uwi ko iyon pa rin yung same old usual feeling na "caught in the middle", unable to do things to solve all the problems na sunud-sunod na dumating sa buhay ko ngayon.

A bothering Insight

What would you do if one day you woke up and feel that your caught in the middle, what are you going to do? And when you wished to break away yet you have no where to run to? How then shall you manage such life?

since i've tried pulling myself from studying clinical psych, yet still nothing is retained in my mind i'd decided that i need to have a break and surf the net... the usual spot tickle.com and i've tried their classic IQ to see what is the result...

The Classic IQ Test
What's Your IQ?

Congratulations, Jaycee!
Your IQ score is 124

This number is based on a scientific formula that compares how many questions you answered correctly on the Classic IQ Test relative to others.

Your Intellectual Type is Visual Mathematician. This means you are gifted at spotting patterns — both in pictures and in numbers. These talents combined with your overall high intelligence make you good at understanding the big picture, which is why people trust your instincts and turn to you for direction — especially in the workplace. And that's just some of what we know about you from your test results.

hay buhay... can't be any better? anyway... no thoughts to spare... except for one thing - ang hirap magresearch tungkol sa report ko about face validity na ang subdivisions ay tumatalakay sa reliability... chuva ever talaga si ma'am agnes. Hindi ko naman pwedeng ipagpabukas yung paggawa ng presentation, kasi nga first reporter ako... hay sana meron me nakuhang ganito...

And rhezi regarding dun sa taong iyon... hehe... lumayu-layo na rin siya sa place namin and luckyly di pa naman siya nagsasalita ng masama ulit regarding my crush... bahala na siya dun...

anyways... i'm just drooling over this picture of lee... yun lng...

...hmmm... was it yesterday or the other day, when I got so annoyed with someone... anyway the story goes like these... I really don't wish to impart these, pero I can't help myself from blogging it. Sorry in advance sa taong ito, but I just can't uplift my spirits after hearing that stupid reaction...

We were seated at the back of the room that day...(hardly can't believe it) when this person started making wild sort of fits or gestures, that to him appeared to be a nice joke(if it really is a nice joke!). At first, I just ignored it, probably because I'm trying to concentrate on the subject matter...(mahina kasi pandinig ko eh... and boring at nakakaantok sa likod), however he continued on, until i said "As if scary...?" in a sarcastic sort of way. But to my dismay he just continued on, as if trying my temper... and then i just repeated what i said, much more sarcastically. Then I asked a simple question, para matigil siya sa "ginagawa" niya... and I asked him... "bakit ka nag ----", then he replied "akala ko kasi pre-___!"... then a few pauses... afterwards i asked him again... "di ba klasmate mo si ------?", he replied with a sort of gesture na almost throwing-up "______, urgh... _____ urgh..." When I saw his reaction... of course i'm hurt kasi crush ko yung tinanong ko tapos ang sagot... "urgh..." syempre nagpanting ang tengga ko... tinanong ko ulit siya... "Ano bang meron sa kanya na ayaw mo...?", tapos ibinalik ba sa akin yung tanong. Syempre ako, pesteng-peste na inulit ko ulit yung tanong... at alam nyo yung sagot... "urgh... urgh... urgh... siya... urgh... wala siyang character and personality!" So i raise my eyesbrows... and said "nakita mo yan?" pointing at it... his reaction, his not intimidated... ako ang iniintimidate niya... so kinausap ko na lang yung katabi ko para hindi talaga ako mabuwisit... tapos nagpaparinig na ako... tulad ng "titingin-tingin ka diyan?" pero parang wala lang sa kanya... Ano pa kayang maririnig ko sa kanya afterwards... matapos sabihin nung una na loser, posterizing?! something, tapos ito "urgh...wala siyang character and personality!", ano pa kaya.

Tanong ko lang sino kaya sa inyo yung walang character and personality...

It's been a while, since my last post... i guess i'm prohibiting my self from posting, kasi naman i got no idea on what to post to, besides i got no time either. Moreover, if something good or bad happened to me I definitely can't produce a coherent paragraphs for it. But anyway wala pa naman siguro akong flight of ideas...?

Nonetheless, i still keep my self busy, somehow reading mails... and here's a mail that i'd received from someone... entitled...

"Paano ba nagsisimula ang crush?"

STAGE 1: "ALIW AKO!"

It goes like this... lalapit ka sa friend mo... tapos you'll say, "ei! kilala mo ba si ______(mark, joseph, john, mike... or whatever his *%$@$#@name is!)? wala lang... aliw lang talaga ako sa kanya..." sabay smile... "hindi ko siya crush ha!!! Talagang nakakatuwa lang siya!" kaya nga eh... tuwang tuwa ka... it shows... naaliw ka nga talaga... grabe!!! di mo ba alam na dyan nagsisimula yan...

STAGE 2: "NAKAKA-MISS SIYA"

Ayan na po... hinahanap mo na... yung dialouge naman na iyan ganito... "uy, na saan kaya si ______? matagal ko na siyang di nakikita eh... wala lang naninibago lang ako..." sigurado ka bang yun lang... aba! bago mo naman siya nakilala eh okay lang sayo na he does not exist.. eh bakit ngayon hinahanap-hanap mo... sigurado ka bang NANINIBAGO KA LANG????

STAGE 3: "CUTE PALA SIYA!" A.K.A "the denial of reality"

Hay... ayaw pa kasing aminin eh... paka totoo kana noh!!! "ei, alam mo cute pala si ______! Pag tiningnan mong mabuti..." o kaya... "ang cute naman niyang magsmile... tapos ang bouncy ng hair niya..." tapos biglang sasabihin... "hindi ko siya crush ha... yung hair (smile or whatever na bagay na related sa kanya) lang niya ang gusto ko!" SIGURADO KA LANG??? eh bakit sa tinagal-tagal na magkasama kayo ngayon mo lang narealize... hm... something's fishy...

STAGE 4: "ALAM MO CRUSH KO NA YATA SIYA..."

Hay naku!!! may pa yata-yata ka pang nalalaman... ilang months or years mo inipon ang courage mo para aminin yan... when in fact it's so obvious... alam na ng buo mong barkada bago mo pa man sinabi... at least di ba "HONEST" kana sa sarili mo...

STAGE 5: "TODO NA TO!"

Eto na siguro yung part na pinaka maraming complications... kasi alam na ng barkada mo... at ikaw... kilig effect ka sa isang tabi... eto na yung stage na may sublevels... ayon sa iyong mga kabaliwang gagawin just for the sake of your so-called love life...

a. shy effect

okay... nandiyan ka lang sa isang tabi... nagmumuni-muni kahit within 1 meter radius lang ang crush mo... kunwari walang reaction... tanong lang ha? HANGGANG KAILAN???

b. kababawan

yung bang tipong nadikitan mo lang siya by a quarter of a second sa hibla ng damit niya eh hanggang langit na yung tuwa mo… yung bang pwede ka nang mamatay... hay grabe ha... o kaya naman makasalubong mo lang sya eh papasa kana sa exams... hm... wag sobrahan!!!

c. non-stop talk

well... it just means na wala ka nang ibang kinuwento kundi siya... "he's like this... blah blah blah." Its all about him...

d. stalker

in short... your a walking encyclopedia about him... alam mo lahat ng dapat malaman tungkol sa kanya... schedule niya, address, phone numbers... san siya tumatambay... lahat ng favorites niya... pangalan ng parents niya... size ng pants, shoes, shirts niya... pati yata brand ng brief niya alam mo na... tsk! tsk! tsk! freaky...

e. Obsession

hm, kailangan pa bang e-explain yan????

STAGE 6: GETTING TO KNOW YOU...

Sa wakas... kilala ka na rin ng crush mo... eh di happy kana di ba.... it's your time to shine at magpakitang gilas... hehehe! kaso take note this is the most dangerous stage... remember that once you get to know him… there might be a possibility na ma-inlove ka... o complicated na yan!!!! pero pwede rin na crush mo lang talaga sya... there also may be a chance na mawala ung pagaka-crush mo sa kanya... or you two might be good friends... friends... as in FRIENDS!!! daming possibilities... it's up to you kung what will you choose... basta make sure it's the
best for both of you...

un lang... at least now you know HOW the process works... NEXT TIME ko nalang i-didiscuss ung tungkol sa love... pag-inlove na ko... hehehe... tsaka medyo complicated un eh... sige... ingat kayo lagi...

helloooo peeps... I'm back to cyberspace again. *Yehey!*. For almost a week of deprivation, now I'm back...ha..ha.. nauna kasi akong nagising sa malavampire kong kuya, so here I'm endulging the time for satisfying my pleasure. The main reason why 1 week siguro akong absent to cyberspace was because of my brother, he always plays on this pc morning 'til the sun drops out, until dawn pa ata if he wishes to.

Anyways, yun lang siguro masasabi ko ngayon, since this pleasure won't take long... needed to disconnect because later mom and dad would yell at me... telling me this and that... ahhh.... so unbearable.... promise....