my holy week experience

yeah right, tama kama, delayed masyado... wala kasing connection last week eh...

anyway, after 9 years of not going back to that place i despised alot, i had trotted it again. I realized, that despite the disaster that happened, i felt that the place didn't even had a slight progress. so to speak it's still the same old province devoid of any urban activity.

hindi ko alam ang rason kung bakit ako napasama sa pag-uwi sa probinsya, pero ang alam ko noon eh magupupgrade kami ng internet connection at saktong after ng holy week pa yun, at ayokong maiwan sa bahay para utusan ng kapatid ko. siguro i felt obliged to go dahil ilang taon ko na ring hindi nakikita yung mga lolo at lola ko.
Though, i promised myself na babalik lang ako dun if something worst happen to them, pero i put that aside and went still dahil i think it would be the last time na makikitang ko silang buhay pa.

Though not very old, i think lalo silang humuhina if they were placed in that poor situation; poor lighting condition, poor ventilation, and lack of affection and familial care. sobra hindi ko matake. kung hindi lang nasira yung bahay ng lolo at lola ko, i think they would be better off, than staying at my uncle's house. I mean sobra ang effort ko, not to show any negative emotions, dahil alam niyo na masakit akong magsalita.

Ito pa ang isang problema na nakita ko mismo, they don't have time to take care my grandparents, plus the fact na sinasabihan nila ito ng masasakit na salita. No wonder, from what i heard that they wished to go away from that filthy house. Ito pa ang sobrang malala, yung auntie ko, kapatid ng tatay ko, nung nagkasakit yung lolo ko, imbis na tulungan ang uncle ko na dalhin sa ospital at magambag sa gastusin, eh ang sinabi lang eh magpatawag ng pari dahil mamamatay na raw siya. F*ck her, for being such an ingrateful, cold-hearted bitch! Ang habol lang naman niya eh yung part niya sa mamanahin na land area... humph! It's no big deal, why my dad wants to get my grandparents out there as soon as possible.

Pero, you know what hindi ko rin napigilan ang emotions ko... i never call that "ingrata" auntie anymore, plus the fact na ako na ang nagsuggest sa father ko na itakwil na lang siya sa pamilya, tutal naman ingrata nga naman siya. Thank goodness hindi siya nagpakita nung araw na nanduon kami kung hindi naingudngud ko yung pagmumukha niya sa sahig.