the celestine prophecy

What is in store if you watch the DVD release of this said movie? Well if you haven't read the book with the same title, then of course you wouldn't understand what this movie is portraying. Hence, this would be my first impression - movie screen play is vague.

Though I've enjoyed reading the book itself, and had come to understand the different insights it depicts, I never imagined that the movie creators would be so lame on adapting the said book to screen play. Why? Well you will learn if you have read the book. But anyway here are some reasons why I find it such a poor movie:

1. Story was changed from the beginning to the end.


2. Some characters were missing, even if they were vital in the said story.

3. The insights were poorly explained in the movie. (This was the most important thing in the said movie, but why explain it in such a haste manner!)

4. Some characters presumed to be dead (e.g. Fr. Jose) ended up alive up to the very end. More so, John and Fr. Jose never actually met each other.

5. Why did Julia wanted to adopt a child? It should not be in the story!

6. Flashbacks? Visions from the past? Visions from the future? It's not in the book. The only thing involved was finding for answers based on hidden messages brought about by the people you encounter and not by seeing the actual thing that is going to happen.

7. Marjorie never reached the Ninth insight, she is more preoccupied in the third insight that is why she never learned the rest.

8. The chase for the Ninth insight, it's not in a craved stone but on a scroll hidden by Cardinal Sebastian.

So, I think, I've given enough points for you to wonder why IMDB's rating is 4.9 in this movie. Besides, I've spilled a lot of spoilers for both book and movie.

Anyway, there is only one thing that would let you stick on your chairs while watching this movie, it would be Matthew Settle (John).

Related Links:

IMDB: The Celestine Prophecy

The Celestine Prophecy Official Website

The Celestine Prophecy Synopsis

wala lang...

pangarap...

ang sarap mangarap...

yung bang feeling mo umaalis ka sa realidad at pumupunta sa ibang mundo, kung saan lahat ng nais mo ay natutupad at walang humahadlang; kung saan lahat ng gusto mong gawin, makita, at kung anu-ano pa ay pwede.

pangarap...

ang sarap mangarap...

pero hanggang saan mo kaya maabot yang mga pangarap na yan? hanggang kailan kaya mangangarap ng gising...

hay buhay...

dinaya ako!!!

dinaya ako!

A usual battle cry of the sour-grapers after elections. Why can't they accept the fact that they lose? Just thinking?

I doubt they will ever learn. In the first place why run for a government position if you knew you'd be cheated?

So if i were you, I'd quit babbling nonsense, it won't go anywhere! You're just wasting your money.

Oh I forgot, that's the main reason why politicians run for a government position - MONEY. This is a fact, care of Sen. Defensor-Santiago's statement!

concerned?

everytime i got reminded of that phone call (last post), all unexpressed emotions just push through my consciousness, and i couldn't fight it.

anyway, the person who initiated that, never even called back. no wonder, i felt the same kind of feeling towards him. to be honest, if someone reminded me of that past i've been trying to erase, escape or hide (exclusive of my college years), i felt some kind of irritation.

Ewan ko, pero feeling ko i'm just being used like a commodity, na pag wala ng halaga, eh, it's just being discarded like a garbage. the truth is, prior my college years, i felt, i don't have a true friend. what i got, was the so-called friendly-users. they're there with you because you are a "priced possession"; not because you are a dear friend, but rather they want something that you have. in other words, using someone to gain the upper hand.

kaya nga ako iritang-irita, na i just don't like being reminded of it. kasi nga feeling ko i was so stupid not to realize that i was being used, to the certain extent na they're trying to ruin my personal schema. anyway, if someone would dare retort me, that what i'm saying was mere ballyhoes, i don't think he or she could persuade me to change my perceptions. honestly it's so clear right from the very start that all i ever had were friendly-users!

PS: At kung nababasa mo ito, i wouldn't mind apologizing to you, dahil totoo naman. kaya wag na tayong magplastikan okay. plus the fact, that i'm so damn tired of listening to your complaints regarding my status in life. eh ano ngayon sa iyo kung nahuhuli ako, or i'm left behind. hindi naman ikaw ang standard "model" ko sa buhay. so quit being like a concerned fellow.

phone call

a phone call, a threatening phone call, being bitter as a conclusion.
yet when did i sulk into this bitterness?

is bitterness the right term for my emotional state? or would it be fit to be called a walking corpse?

when did it all began? the answer lies in my pre-conscious mind. and i think it's not the proper time to divulge or uncover my dark past. for all i know, i've just learned to tolerate every negative remarks hurled at me. however instead of the usual "enters-the-left-ear-exits-the-right-ear", i'd absorbed everything, even if i can't endure it. a very negative coping style, that buried me even if i'm alive. an action with no point of return, was what i did.

bitterness against being happy? what is happiness? i don't mean to point the dictionary meaning, but the connotation of it. could happiness be sacrified all at once? if so, then it ends here. i'd sacrified my happiness all this years just to keep me alive. so now don't mind asking me when did it all began? when did i felt the pain? and why did i sulked into this state? because you and me never had the same experience. because you and me were raised into different ends of the spectrum.

achievements affected by bitterness? if there were any scientific explation on this, then i haven't read it. but for all i know, an emotionally dead person can no longer achieve anything. and an emotionally dead person doesn't care enough whether he lags behind the rest, whether he exerts much effort or not, or whether he expects much or not at all. because you know what runs in the head of all those emotionally dead person; it is to know how to manage to surpass the dark ages he's into and proceed into the light where he can become free and lively again.

unknown-to-me relations

a curser, very typical of me, as i would describe myself, yet i ain't no witch to put you on trance to make you obey all my demands. i like cursing people, period, so that i can vent out the stress, frustration, or anger that i might be feeling for that given moment or situation.

i'm such a meanie evil person, and i know it all along. if i'm angry at you, expect something evil coming to haunt you. you might as well cover your ears with ear muffs so as not to be bombarded with harsh words you never thought might be spared directly infront of you. you might as well evade from me because i wont stop if i know you reached my patience threshold. this my friends really happened, and i wont deny it, that i became so mean with my own unknown-to-me relatives.

to start it all of, a contagious "anger" negative vibe exploded right before i lost my self-control. it began with my father when everyone had decided to go to san miguel, albay. EVERYONE had already left, except me, my mom, my dad, my bro, my auntie, and my grandparents. Since, my grandfather's health condition is failing, due to carelessness of my auntie and her family, he can't come, even if you reinforced it with a lot of motivation. right infront of me, my father's authoritative voice thundered like hell which changed my positive outlook that day. he decided to stay because no one will take care of them. yet at the very back of his mind, and his whispered curses, that he really wanted to take my grandparents away to that place. that changed everyone's situation, my auntie had tried her best to find a substitute for the work my father had taken - to look and tend for my grandparents needs.

it's quite unexplainable but the rage was definitely passed to me and my mother like a contagious disease that we as well became too damn hot-headed. Indeed we all went to san miguel, albay with my father, and proceeded with to the pier. in there, the unknown-to-me relative started acting like a bullsh*t, saying nonsensical phrases that definitely offended me and my mother. I whispered to my mom that i'm already annoyed, and that one more word from that unknown-to-me relative would put her in a grave situation. and then it goes, and like a volcano, i exploded, for this simple reason: she asked my mom to hold the watermelon even if it's already neatly placed down. she asked that twice in a demanding tone like she's bullying a kid, that i already intervened and told her in a commanding voice that if she don't stop, i'm going to definitely throw that watermelon right before her eyes to the sea with her as well!

It's so irritating, yes, for me, but it didn't stopped there. the last and final thread of my patience broke off when another unknown-to-me relative had accused my brother of spilling the so damn barbeque marinade, with which she was assuming to be taking care of. Without any a do, she just accused my brother of spilling it without any valid proofs to support her allegation. And what did your old meanie friend do, i retorted her, that it was definitely her fault because in the first place she was the one looking after it, and why accuse someone who has nothing to do with it. I never stopped, and my mother never dared stop me, she as well released her annoyance. I continued telling her that if she didn't just placed it there and let her eyes and attention go wandering off that would never even happen. After that, total silence, and no one dared to look at me, and look at my direction. i felt they're scared of me, because a another word from me would take their precious peace of mind away.

my holy week experience

yeah right, tama kama, delayed masyado... wala kasing connection last week eh...

anyway, after 9 years of not going back to that place i despised alot, i had trotted it again. I realized, that despite the disaster that happened, i felt that the place didn't even had a slight progress. so to speak it's still the same old province devoid of any urban activity.

hindi ko alam ang rason kung bakit ako napasama sa pag-uwi sa probinsya, pero ang alam ko noon eh magupupgrade kami ng internet connection at saktong after ng holy week pa yun, at ayokong maiwan sa bahay para utusan ng kapatid ko. siguro i felt obliged to go dahil ilang taon ko na ring hindi nakikita yung mga lolo at lola ko.
Though, i promised myself na babalik lang ako dun if something worst happen to them, pero i put that aside and went still dahil i think it would be the last time na makikitang ko silang buhay pa.

Though not very old, i think lalo silang humuhina if they were placed in that poor situation; poor lighting condition, poor ventilation, and lack of affection and familial care. sobra hindi ko matake. kung hindi lang nasira yung bahay ng lolo at lola ko, i think they would be better off, than staying at my uncle's house. I mean sobra ang effort ko, not to show any negative emotions, dahil alam niyo na masakit akong magsalita.

Ito pa ang isang problema na nakita ko mismo, they don't have time to take care my grandparents, plus the fact na sinasabihan nila ito ng masasakit na salita. No wonder, from what i heard that they wished to go away from that filthy house. Ito pa ang sobrang malala, yung auntie ko, kapatid ng tatay ko, nung nagkasakit yung lolo ko, imbis na tulungan ang uncle ko na dalhin sa ospital at magambag sa gastusin, eh ang sinabi lang eh magpatawag ng pari dahil mamamatay na raw siya. F*ck her, for being such an ingrateful, cold-hearted bitch! Ang habol lang naman niya eh yung part niya sa mamanahin na land area... humph! It's no big deal, why my dad wants to get my grandparents out there as soon as possible.

Pero, you know what hindi ko rin napigilan ang emotions ko... i never call that "ingrata" auntie anymore, plus the fact na ako na ang nagsuggest sa father ko na itakwil na lang siya sa pamilya, tutal naman ingrata nga naman siya. Thank goodness hindi siya nagpakita nung araw na nanduon kami kung hindi naingudngud ko yung pagmumukha niya sa sahig.

confronting dilemma

[sorry for the vagueness]

I'm facing a very difficult situation that needs an exact resolution and decision, with which I think, I'm not capable of giving. This was the hardest that I've been through all my life, and honestly speaking, I don’t know how am I, going to untangle myself from it.

I have been standing long enough on the convergence of three different roads, and I really needed to choose which one I should take. I have been weighing possible advantages and disadvantages long enough that I'm too afraid of pin-pointing what avenue, am I going to trot for the rest of my life.

For some, I know it would be too easy; choose the best, and choose where your heart will lead you to, but I'm not even sure if that would apply to me. All my life I tried to follow what's best, and sure enough I did so, but why am I not feeling contented nor satisfied, and the worst of all, I am not happy.

I already had that little freedom on my grasps; to choose where my heart would be happy, yet I cannot afford to gamble it, because I know that I'm not the only one affected. I may choose one road, end up being happy with it, but to what expense? Putting someone on the other end of the spectrum? I may choose the other road, be satisfied with it, and yet sacrifice my happiness? Or choose the last option, be contented with it, and lose, shun, or discard even my dreams; and just take life as it is in that road.

I know there's more in life that I need to explore, and there are more obstacles that I need to confront. However, I'm thinking why can’t there be another road where happiness, contentment, and satisfaction prevailed? Why can't there be another road wherein no one would get affected if you decided to take it?

This is really not easy. I'm afraid to sacrifice my dreams, and I'm also afraid to sacrifice somebody just for me to reach those dreams. I understand that I should move on now, and take a stand for myself, but I still need a lot of time; time to give-up something in pursuit of another thing. As the saying goes "happiness is a choice" and I'm going to do my best to find and choose it, no matter what road am I going to take and no matter what things am I going to give up, because I don't want to end up as a hollow object.

grieve

I'm lost of words to spare, yet full of thoughts to ponder about. I never thought that investing emotionally on something or someone could give so much pain, unbearable pain. I just don't know now how to move on. I don't know how to forget those memorable times, I don't.

This is the reason why I don't want any relationship, given the fact that I need to invest on it emotionally. Pero, ginawa ko pa rin. Nagmahal pa rin ako ng mga alaga kong aso na mamamatay lang dahil sa bulate. Nakakaasar yang mga bulate na yan. Bwisit, bakit pa kasi may bulate! Kahit na dinala mo na sa isang beterinaryo wala pa rin silang nagawa dahil sa mga pesteng bulate na yan. Bakit pa kasi sila ginawa!

Today, my pet carl died. I don't know whether piggy piggy would end the same way as carl.

philippine politics

I'm pittung aside this season's blissfulness, I mean, valentine's, to ponder on a
more logical and practical issue - political campaign. As I do recalled, I said
that I despised our country's politics, and true to my words, I still hate it!
Yet, how come reflect on it? For a simple reason, political campaign season started.

The (in)famous president of the Philippines once said in her speech, the country
should have a new set of law-makers able to make the country progressive instead
of the old one's doing nothing but to distract the country's development. I do
agree with her, yet only to a certain extent. I can vote, and recycle some
old politicians, if I know he/she is credible enough to follow his/her own
conscience, act on his/her will and with no tarnish on his/her track record.
This is definitely not a discrimination by age, but a eye opener to some
few individuals who doesn't know how to exercise their vote wisely.

Would you like to elect a so-called politician even if he/she didn't graduated
from any reputable law school? Would you like to vote for a popular celebrity even
if you know he/she is not capable enough to become a law-maker? Would you waste
your vote to some old traditional politician who haven't done anything? Would
you wished to elect a law-maker even if you know a relative of that said politician
is already in the position that he/she is aspiring to? Would you like to vote
for an ex-mutineer who wished to distabilize the so-called peace and order?
Would you wished to waste your time on voting some politicians crossing over
political borders? Lastly, would you vote a politician with a stained track
record, and doesn't stand by his/her conscience? Of course, No would be your answer, and same as mine. However, uneducated one's, from the marginalized
population area, definitely don't think that way, instead the opposite.

Okay, given that scenario, which is definitely happening in our country, I say if
the said politicians win the coming national elections, then no progress would
occur. What would an elementary graduate do as a law-maker? To the Filipinos out
there you know who I'm taking about - Manny Pacquiao! Yes, he running for congress!
What would he do? For heaven sake. Aside from him, there are these celebrities,
graduates of arts and all, not law; how would they manipulate the country to
progress. Shocks... such a waste of vote for some trustworthy individuals!
More so, political dynasty of the few elites.

But why do they force themselves in such positions (e.g. congress and senate), not because they wanted to help the country, not because they wanted development, but because of the prestige being added to their name - honorable senator, honorable congressman. Aside from that, the unauditable millions they can have from being in that position - the pork barrel. Such a wonderful country where you pay such a huge amount of taxes that goes only to the pockets of these corrupt individuals. (Okay, some may not be corrupt, but can be influenced to become one).

And this is always what, we, the few educated ones wanted to from the very beginning
we voiced out our grievances. We wanted reforms from capable individuals, and not from idiots and puppets of the few elites and power hungry individuals. We wanted
progress to occur and not regression. Now, it's not big deal, why most of us
wanted to flee from this waste-of-a-country to go to a more civilized one!

daniel radcliffe goes oh my...

Is it career move or what? The little boy wizard we all know as "harry potter" now shows off some skin. Oh wait not just some skin... ehmm... you all know what I mean.

Oh my gosh... the truth is, he's definitely sizzling hot for a 17 years old boy. Let's wait some more years and see if he would do some more of this kind of flicks.

I think the title of this post should be: boy wonder turns sex symbol... Harry Potter won't be the same again in my view.

Here are the some of the photos in http://danradcliffe.us

Anyway, I'm not from UK so I don't know what this Equus stage play is all about. Though we (harry potter fans) all know that this is a career move done by Daniel, it doesn't necessarily mean that we need to type-cast him (Daniel) as the living counterpart of Harry Potter. More so, it doesn't necessarily mean that we need to feel terribly disgusted on it, and speculate that he's running out for more money. The Harry Potter series will end, but Daniel's life would still continue on. Let's just respect his own decisions for that matter, and if you're really his fan: support him in whatever endeavor he might take in the near future.

middle child syndrome

I've been thinking lately about what was wrong with my psychological make-up.
I don't even know why I feel terribly empty, lonely, and unhappy. I know something
is wrong, yet even if I'd been conferred with a psychological degree I still can't
determine what is it. And for some reason, I misdiagnose myself to be having a depressed
state, or even having anorexia nervosa, for most of the symptoms are prevalently
prominent. More so, most of the time, I think there's something that is missing in
my life, and that I wanted to search for it.

Before a clinical psychologist told me, that I looked more as a patient and not
as a junior practinioner in the field. And you know what? I feel that it is true.
Conflicts that are more likely unresolved surges back
which caughts me off ground. If these things could just be explained by a single
syndrome then more likely it is "Middle Child Syndrome".

Middle child syndrome from the traditional psychological point of view, does not exist.
No such theory in psychology dealt with such syndrome. Only characteristics of being
a middle child, be it positive or negative characteristics or traits, and a middle
child's constant struggles to gain attention. Yet no one ever described that being a
middle child you need to become a loner, an underachiever, and have an unhappy view
about life.

Of course, I say so all these, because I'm a middle child. And being in my position
is not as good as it seems. Yes, I can have both worlds, both of the extremes, yet
the truth is, I can only earn or grab a part of it and not the entirety of both extremes. And most of the time, I feel that I am neglected. Why? Because my big brother is my father's favorite, and my younger brother being my mother's favorite. So where am I going to place myself? I just can't push my way through to get their attention. So my possible escape from such thing is to go away, shut myself from their existence.

It's not nice, but it's the only way for me not to feel the pain. Yet by doing so
many psychological problems arise covering up the main root. By moving away, I feel more secure, but with no outlet what so ever, to pour out all my feelings. By moving away, I learn not to trust people, for some simple reason, they're just like my parents - untrustful. By moving away, my life changed and now the emptiness that I described fills me in. With such action that I did, i felt unhappy.

Now may be that explains it; why I can't find anything that would make me happy and contented. May be it can also explain why I can't achieve something worth it, even though for some it's already a great achievement.