Thursday, October 14, 2004

Am I that gullible, or do you think that I'm just plain stupid for not analyzing my downcast situation? I ask such question, because I want to find out the truth. The mere truth that people conceal from me. I know this question seems to be offensive when answered but it won't matter, I just needed your opinion.

It so happened that when I give my whole trust to some people, it always end up that people fool me. I don't have any idea on how to expound this, but this doesn't surely pertain to any body in the class. This pertain again with my best friend. I don't know why this happened... whether we really do lack communication with each other or there's something that I really don't understand?

This idea just crossed my mind after I had analyzed the words he had said to me after that conversation. I don't know whether from the very beginning he already lied to me, or whether he was telling the truth, and if he does why give me such facts that seems unverified? Yes, I'm envious regarding those things that he had achieved already, but this is not a result of it, since I tried to verify such facts he had said. And such verification only resulted to doubting his integrity. Some of those facts seems to be farfetched from reality, and then here I am a fool to believe everything I hear from him, just because I trust him, and just because I consider him as my best friend to think that he would not fool me.

A substantial editorial piece posted by him as what he had said it, then as people read it, he said "pagbukas ko nga nagulat ako kasi maraming nag copy and paste... inaangking kanila yung write up ko... hehe". Then he had asked me to read it, then to my dismay when I found out the day after, he was the one who multiple pasted it. And the substantial piece he had said... hmmm... 6.5 out of 10, as somebody had said, who had also read that write up. (I don't need to mention his name right?). Another thing he had pointed out in our conversation was that someone had given his private number to him and he asked me whether he would text this person or not. Yet to my wild amazement, that person had publicly given his number and posted it - contrasting to what he presumed mailed to him privately.

Now, "di ba as best friend, masasaktan ka sa ganito - best friend ka na, pinagsisinugalingan ka pa. Ngayon, tanong ko ulit, sadya ba akong tanga at naniwala ako sa kanya?". And would I give him a chance to explain, once we would talk again? kasi feeling ko, I'm just being used and fooled... dahil nga madali akong lokohin...