Friday, October 22, 2004

I guess my long wait have finally been put to an end, whew... No more worries, no more damn anxiety every night, and no more nightmares of dreaded failure, because I've passed all my subjects... especially that non-motivating, uninteresting subject industrial psych.

Anyway, before I decided to post this, I've hopped around to some blog... especially with Leah's, and know what, I've read there a speech, *touching, very touching* and there it gives people motivation to continue on with the trials each one faces though they have stumbled on their way. I hope you visit her blog and read it.

Now for the finale, I thank God, first and foremost for earnestly listening to my redundant prayers of sparing me from such dreaded situation, for if ever I fail, I don't know what my parents will most likely to say. Knowing them, especially my dad - a perfectionist, and mom, who always says lines that is unbearable to hear. (Expect that when she learned that I have this grade again she would never stop nagging me for not doing my best!). Secondly, I thank the professors who have been so kind enough to give such a grade though I really don't deserve them. And last I thank myself for not being so over-paranoid last week to think about these grades.

*Please never stop believing in yourselves and don't think that you all can't make it. Be positve. God has a will for every thing. He is our guide towards our success.

Thursday, October 21, 2004

A fragile jar, a broken vase

and a shattered glass...

a tampered seal, and a ruined rack...

are all synonymous to me...

The endless dreams of no possibility...

The continued pursuit to desolation,

depression, and animosity to one's self

are all my aspirations towards life.

Yet, I wished to escape it all...

to live normal and carefree,

like a butterfly, or maybe a bird

to fly and elope with such freedom at grasp.

But I ain't what I wished to be,

thus I need to bear it all...

to suffer, cry, and mourn,

up until my dying day.

Tuesday, October 19, 2004

hay.... B-O-R-E-D na talaga ako dito sa bahay... di pwede lumabas para manood ng sine o kaya magroam around lang sa mall... napakastrict kasi eh... and then wala man lng tumatawag sa phone... grr... kaasar talaga - Richmond tawag ka nga! Anyways ito po ngayon ang ginagawa ko ang mag waste ng time sa net tuwing gabi... nagsu2rf para may magawa... nagba2sa ng mga messages sa mailbox and sa blogs ninyo... and this is what I've seen and read so far... sa mailbox ko, galing sa isang member ng yahoogroup...

On the first day God created the dog. God

said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and

bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. I will

give you a life span of twenty years."

The dog said, "That's too long to be barking. Give

me ten years and I'll give you back the other ten."

So God agreed.

On the second day God created the monkey. God

said, "Entertain people, do monkey tricks, make

them laugh. I'll give you a twenty-year life span."

The monkey said, "How boring, monkey tricks for

twenty years? I don't think so. Dog gave you back

ten, so that's what I'll do too, okay?"

And God agreed.

On the third day God created the cow. God

said, "You must go to the field with the farmer all

day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and

give milk to support the farmer. I will give you a life

span of sixty years."

The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life you want

me to live for sixty years. Let me have twenty and

I'll give back the other forty."

And God agreed again.

On the fourth day God created man. God

said, "Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life.

I'll give you twenty years."

Man said, "What? Only twenty years! Tell you

what, I'll take my twenty, and the forty the cow

gave back and the ten the monkey gave back and

the ten the dog gave back, that makes eighty,


"Okay," said God, "You've got a deal."

So that is why the first twenty years we eat, sleep,

play, and enjoy ourselves; for the next forty years

we slave in the sun to support our family; for the

next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain

the grandchildren; and for the last ten years we sit

on the front porch and bark at everyone.

Life has now been explained to you

To you who wrote these... thanks... wala na kc me maisip na ipost eh... sorry na rin if I didn't inform you...

By the way, nagsasawa na ako sa itsura ng blog kong parang langit... gusto ko siyang iedit.. pero wla me ng necessary program to do it... microsoft frontpage ba... meron na kc me nakitang blogskin pero di maganda ung layout...

Thursday, October 14, 2004

You are naturally born with a gift, whether it be
poetry, writing or song. You love beauty and
creativity, and usually are highly intelligent.
Others view you as mysterious and dreamy, yet
also bold since you hold firm in your beliefs.

What Type of Soul Do You Have ?
brought to you by Quizilla
I am 14% evil.

I try to stay away from evil deeds but succumb to temptation every once in a while. I'm not quite on my way to hell but I certainly have some explaining to do.

Are you evil? find out at

Am I that gullible, or do you think that I'm just plain stupid for not analyzing my downcast situation? I ask such question, because I want to find out the truth. The mere truth that people conceal from me. I know this question seems to be offensive when answered but it won't matter, I just needed your opinion.

It so happened that when I give my whole trust to some people, it always end up that people fool me. I don't have any idea on how to expound this, but this doesn't surely pertain to any body in the class. This pertain again with my best friend. I don't know why this happened... whether we really do lack communication with each other or there's something that I really don't understand?

This idea just crossed my mind after I had analyzed the words he had said to me after that conversation. I don't know whether from the very beginning he already lied to me, or whether he was telling the truth, and if he does why give me such facts that seems unverified? Yes, I'm envious regarding those things that he had achieved already, but this is not a result of it, since I tried to verify such facts he had said. And such verification only resulted to doubting his integrity. Some of those facts seems to be farfetched from reality, and then here I am a fool to believe everything I hear from him, just because I trust him, and just because I consider him as my best friend to think that he would not fool me.

A substantial editorial piece posted by him as what he had said it, then as people read it, he said "pagbukas ko nga nagulat ako kasi maraming nag copy and paste... inaangking kanila yung write up ko... hehe". Then he had asked me to read it, then to my dismay when I found out the day after, he was the one who multiple pasted it. And the substantial piece he had said... hmmm... 6.5 out of 10, as somebody had said, who had also read that write up. (I don't need to mention his name right?). Another thing he had pointed out in our conversation was that someone had given his private number to him and he asked me whether he would text this person or not. Yet to my wild amazement, that person had publicly given his number and posted it - contrasting to what he presumed mailed to him privately.

Now, "di ba as best friend, masasaktan ka sa ganito - best friend ka na, pinagsisinugalingan ka pa. Ngayon, tanong ko ulit, sadya ba akong tanga at naniwala ako sa kanya?". And would I give him a chance to explain, once we would talk again? kasi feeling ko, I'm just being used and fooled... dahil nga madali akong lokohin...

Sunday, October 10, 2004

You are purple. What a romantic person you are.
You're sentimental and forward-looking (those
are opposites.). You're a sophisticated and
refined--with a refind taste for chocolates and
wine (yum...). Tempermental and moody, you let
people know when you're angry. But other
times, you just sit and sulk. Alone. When
around people, you're a generous person, with
insatiable needs. You're a starving artist,
basically. You're enjoy getting into debates
over politics and religion with people of the
same intelligence of you. But you know they
can never convince you otherwise, you stubborn
person, you. As a unique person you are (not
to mention just a tad bit eccentric...), you're
well-liked by either a few people, or too many

What color are you? (Amazingly detailed & accurate--with pics!)
brought to you by Quizilla

***Well accuracy still doesn't count... lacks construct and content validity***
Just last night I tried to call my best friend - just to have a little chat with him cause I'm already bored at my solitary confinment away from my friends. For the fourth and final try I was successful to talk to him. For a fact think how a 19 year nursing student could attend to the psychological needs of his best friends. Yet I do understand him for that since he needed much more time - time to relax from all the stressors he have.

When we started to converse, all my boredom seems to fly far away from me. I felt relieved, cause I wasn't deprived of the privilege on talking and talking. However, somewhere in the middle of our conversation that momentous feeling of happiness was abruptly replaced by envy. He had shared to me all his expriences, from becoming a debater down to the point of running into the student council. After which he decided to hang up for family reasons... his younger brother is still not at home, so I just said "okay, I understand good night."

Then I started to analyze my situation - "Why am I not like him? Why can't I achieve the things he had achieved?" Just then I realized that I'm really envious about him, for he has no inhibitions whatsoever that hinders him to achieve those common goals that we have, yet compared to me and my attitude - an almost broken jar and an incomplete jigsaw... Well how could I be like him if I haven't found that something that would me make complete? After all I felt that I'm already tampered, almost stained with blood within my arms and wrist. Stains that could never ever be removed from me... Was this the reason why I'm here in this solitude...? Was it that experience that somehow inhibited me...? Or was it my point of view?

Sunday, October 3, 2004

"Ang hirap ng maraming links..." So I just decided to write this thing up...


Though for a fact we all know that we have incurred some deficits... particularly in biochemistry and industrial psych... we should not lose hope and trust in God. God may have every reason why he's testing us, but believe me he will spare us all from doom - doom to failure. Just pray hard, and always look for the positive side of life...