Friday, April 27, 2007


everytime i got reminded of that phone call (last post), all unexpressed emotions just push through my consciousness, and i couldn't fight it.

anyway, the person who initiated that, never even called back. no wonder, i felt the same kind of feeling towards him. to be honest, if someone reminded me of that past i've been trying to erase, escape or hide (exclusive of my college years), i felt some kind of irritation.

Ewan ko, pero feeling ko i'm just being used like a commodity, na pag wala ng halaga, eh, it's just being discarded like a garbage. the truth is, prior my college years, i felt, i don't have a true friend. what i got, was the so-called friendly-users. they're there with you because you are a "priced possession"; not because you are a dear friend, but rather they want something that you have. in other words, using someone to gain the upper hand.

kaya nga ako iritang-irita, na i just don't like being reminded of it. kasi nga feeling ko i was so stupid not to realize that i was being used, to the certain extent na they're trying to ruin my personal schema. anyway, if someone would dare retort me, that what i'm saying was mere ballyhoes, i don't think he or she could persuade me to change my perceptions. honestly it's so clear right from the very start that all i ever had were friendly-users!

PS: At kung nababasa mo ito, i wouldn't mind apologizing to you, dahil totoo naman. kaya wag na tayong magplastikan okay. plus the fact, that i'm so damn tired of listening to your complaints regarding my status in life. eh ano ngayon sa iyo kung nahuhuli ako, or i'm left behind. hindi naman ikaw ang standard "model" ko sa buhay. so quit being like a concerned fellow.

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