Wednesday, February 13, 2008

A fight...

A fight that I will have to bear till the end.

Those thoughts race through my mind as the same scenario unfolds within my sight. For the fourth time, the same symptoms appeared, and again without any given warning. I don't know when or how these poor little fellows ever acquired the same illness that had risked their lives; two of them are now beside the omnipotent one.

It all started with a murky shade of mahogany puke, the same symptoms that keeps dreading me as I associated it with the impeding death of the victim. A slow death... a very slow painful death that causes you to keep on holding on, yet you feel helpless with each passing day even when you seek professional medical help and cure.

Prior the this latest incident, I had promised myself that I would not let let go of the third casualty, when the second one passed away, and God permitted that he stay with me up until today. But why repeat it the fourth time on another victim? I thought it ended when I had miraculously saved, with all my will, the third male casualty, but why again do I have to endure the same fright and tension on another one? Will this burden continue on? The burden of seeing someone special to you suffer and yet you feel helpless to the situation?

Seeking professional help seemed to be the viable option, however as I had observed it, instead of alleviating the pain, it aggravates it. I thought we made the wrong decision before on seeking advice on a practicing professional, which gave us the impression that he isn't qualified to any of such things. However changing doctors proved least about the said assumption, it happened again. I just hope and pray that it doesn't end the same way as the two of the victims I had witnessed.

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